Why DIY is arse....
Get this. I've got a whole new set of cupboards complete with brand spanking new clean work top. And having had the wall plastered, they are still brand spanking new and clean. And having plastered the celing, they are STILL brand spanking new and clean.
Enter me...
Why is it when you really try to succeed and do a good job, this "Numb nut" brain cell wakes up and convinces you that a really bad idea is actually ok? (People who have learnt to use this part of the brain on a permanent basis are known as "IT support")
So I have this bit of floor to cut and I suddenly think, "just rest it on the work top - it'll be fine."
So I do, and I'm being so extra careful that I put down some plastic to "protect the work top." After a successfull cut I turn around and when I look back, I see the plastic has slipped and I have just scraped a huge chunk off the worktop.
Brilliant! Thanks a lot. Bring in F*ckwit brain cell to finish off the job completely. That's the brain cell that kicks in when you start to panic about the disaster that the "numb nut" brain cell has just caused.
And It's whispering to me "Colour it in with Crayon, nobody will ever notice....."
Thirdly, the "blind optimism" cell kicked in. It convinced me that the work of the f*ckwit cell was so good that it really didn't "look that bad."
Finally, reality kicks in. I'm so dead.
posted by Toaster @ 5:04 AM
1 Comments:
Oh dear - and I thought it was just me that the DIY god ridiculed. (Especially with electrics - but still alive !).
I learnt a survival tatic when I chipped a granite worktop (very expensive - and highly valued by phscho kitchen selling ex.)
Simply buy a new silvery kettle and place over damaged part of worktop. If the scratch/chip or whatever is discovered
1. Know nothing about it
2. Conclude it must have been the new silvery kettle
3. Say your taking kettle back to (argos or wherever) and your putting in a complaint as its damaged your worktop.
Have me in mind when you need crap excuses, as has been mentioned I'm full of them
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