The Frankie Howerd pigeon
So I'm sat in my office last night looking at the blazing sun waiting for it to snow. I suddenly realise that it's quite light for this time of night (5 ish).
So, I'm thinking, the nights are drawing out, the clocks will go forward soon and and.. "Oh my God spring is nearly here!"
Now the thing about spring is that the birds start to reappear. No Pedders, I do not mean 'ooo errr missus "Birds" ' I do mean birds of the feathered variety. "So what?" you may ask. Well let me tell you.
Every house has a roof, and every roof has, at some time, had a pigeon on it. Well mine is no different. Except MINE has the bloody Frankie Howerd pigeon on it.
Every morning, 6am without fail, it leans down my chimney and shouts
"OOOOOOooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" at 200 decibels
I swear it once said "Titter Ye Not"
What makes it worse is that it's a fat b*stard as well. So I know it's about to happen....
5.55 am: "THUD" It lands on the roof
5:56 am: "thud thud thud thud" as it walks along the roof to the chimney.
5:57 am: Leaves me waiting for it
5:58 am: Still waiting
5:59 am: [Twitch]
6:00 am: "OOOOOOooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Click the green square
I'm going to buy a gun and shoot the bugger
posted by Toaster @ 4:25 AM
1 Comments:
Have patience -remember Frankie also said Relax. Ok - I remember how unfunny those T-Shirts were. Maybe you should get a sharp stick and jab the pigeon 'up pompei' - that'll make it shift
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