Mr Burns and the Lino
First of all,Big "Hello" to Mr Jonny Burns. 21 tomorrow so he will be in the pub and rat-arsed by 1pm. (He's one of the better southerners - he doesn't drink lager top)
Anway, we are in the pub and we're discussing kitchens. For those of you who don't know, I have been building a new kitchen for what seems the last 5oo years. And now I'm going to have to put a floor down.
"Get Lino" says "I'm an expert at putting floors down" Jonny. Dead easy and you can wipe up dropped sh*t. (And I'm thinking, how exactly do you drop sh*t? Oh - he has a dog.)
Anyway, no no no. I am going to put down laminate flooring - "tile effect" (Pretty impressive I know.) And this is going to be a doddle, because its "easy to click together" stuff and it'll be done in no time.....
errrr No.
Sideways on, no problem, getting it to join up lengthways ?? Complete arse. 5 hours! And again, the instructions are complete crap. I get to this tricky bit where I have to negotiate the floor in part being gainst the wall, and the rest around a corner. There is BOUND to be some hints and tips, BOUND to be. I look up the instructions and there is the title
"Fitting glooring that has to go against the wall AND round a corner" (Lucky that.) And it says ...
"Cut floor to fit"
%&*&%* IT! I'm off to B&Q to get some Lino.
posted by Toaster @ 1:01 PM
1 Comments:
In a Harry Enfield stylee:
'you dont wanna use laminate - it expands with water'
'You dont wanna use lino -sticks to your feet'
cermaic tiles are what you need....
Anyway, I've got a muchos experience of DIY and muchos bruises and excuses too. Lets see......hmmmm....flooring.
1. Its crooked because the floor is not even
2. It doesn't go to the edge because the rooms walls are not square
3. I put a plumb line across the floor but my cat knocked it out of alignment which is why it doesn't look straight (this was a cracker until she twigged we didn't have a cat)
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