The barbeque (continued) ...
For those of you new to this, you can't fully appreciate my state of mind at the start of this article. If you have the time, read "the barbeque..." It's a tale of adventure, fight, coal and the distinct lack of tin on legs. Anyway, at the moment, I am clutching the only barbeque in Cambrdge and I'm thinking "Don't let go of it, just get it paid for and get it home. (And strangely, there's this voice whispering "It's myyyy precious" - which was odd.)
Let me take a moment to describe this thing I am carrying. It's in a box. And when I say box, I mean BOX! And on this BOX is a huge sticker saying £35.99. And when I say huge sticker, I mean HUGE sticker. So I lift this BOX onto the counter with it's HUGE sticker facing the checkout bloke. He scans it. "Beep." And says "errr. Is it eight pound?".
Is he taking the P*ss? I'm torn between saying a polite "no, it isn't" or a not quite so polite, "Yes you useless piece of sh*t. That's why there's a HUGE f*cking sticker on it saying £35.99. That's just there for decoration isn''t it you dumb stump."
But I politely say, "no it isn't".
He tries again,
"beep" £.8.00
and again "beep" £8.00,
faster
"beep" £8.00,
"beep", £8.00 (because scanning it more often and faster will obviously make the price suddenly be correct.)
At this point I would gladly pay £800. Really- I just want to go home.
So then he says "can you go and look at the price on another one please." I never realised that I had a twitch. But apparantly I do. Because it started there and then. To make a long story even longer, he calls his supervisor (who looks like he's recently been promted from MacDonalds.)
Supervisor: Sir, can you show me where you got it from?
Me: "This is the only barbeque in Cambridge. I'm not letting go of it. The only way you'll get this off me is shoot me dead and prise it out of my lifeless fingers. [twitch] [twitch]"
Me: ...
Me: [twitch]
Now I am glad to say that he did not take me to an aisle full of barbeques. that just would have been too much to take. So we go to the aisle an I point to the big empty space. He checks all the labels and says that he'll have to do the transaction as it needs to be done manually. I remind him (quite calmly I thought) that I was not letting go of the barbeque [twitch]. So he goes to the checkout, types in something, types in something else and types in something longer. (What he was typing I don't know. there are only numbers on the keyboard) After a quick phonecall I finally hand over my cash card and I've DONE IT !!
That was my world cup moment, that was my Olympic gold medal... at long last, I've bought a f*cking barbeque.
And now I'm off home to build it! ...
posted by Toaster @ 10:20 AM
2 Comments:
I would've done a runner leaving them with £8 IOU and they could think themselves lucky. I was thinking legging it with barbecues could be an event in the Scally Olympics - hang on , am I calling myself a scally? (twitch) erm, anyway..hows the building going?
I think you should do a post on numb nuts counter assistants - and the small fan base your building here would like to see it too!
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