What's that all about?

One for the ladies (continued) ....

So then where was I. Quick re-cap. I'm trying to impress my (now) girlfriend by cooking her a meal when it all goes balls up because I find out she's a veggie.

By total fluke, astonishing luck or divine inspiration someone has sent me (by e-mail of all things) the "complete Jamie Oliver guide to cooking" Hell, if that arse can produce a whole book of meals, then I'm in with half a chance of making one of them. So I eagerly go to the vegetarian section. First one. "Gratin of Butternut Squash"

The instructions read

1. First of all, make sure yer 'ave all them luvly ingredients picked from sainsburys.. err or any uvver well known supermarket. Cor blimey thats lubbly

2. Neyxt, you wanna add a bit of shazzam innit. Whack it in the pot, little frizzle, apple and pear it like a right touch. Wot a geezer.

3. Chargriddle the saucy,don't be rude now, hows ya father until its a treat. Cor my old man would be shakin his jewlry narr. Pukka.

4. Whack it in the tin, on the mark get set go, and leave. Drop a brandy, right touch. Phone me old gran. Alwight gran. Laaaarrrvly.

And now I'm reading Ken Homs Hot Wok, the untranslated version. And it still making more sense. Cockney git.

posted by Toaster @ 2:44 AM