Raffles....
Aren't raffles rubbish. I mean, come one. Usually they are formed for charity. Charities don't have any money and so the prizes are donated. "Donated" is only one short step away from "given away" and things that are "given away" are either broken or "not wanted"
Despite this, there are always some prizes that are positively more sh*t than others. I'm in the pub the other day and its the mens darts finals awards. And guess what... they're having a raffle.
They picked a really naff way of doing it as well. Basically, if your ticket got drawn, you could pick a prize. So that means all the less sh*t prizes go first. (It's therefore not a case of "what number" you have it's "when" it is drawn.) And these prizes are not just sh*t. They are SHIT. So shit in fact, that as a joke, I nicked the pub's jar of pickles and put them amongst the prizes, and they were not the last thing to be picked !!
And amongst the shit prizes (and this is not a lie) was "Coronation Street - the feature length Special. " And my God that was Special! A "never to be seen on tv" feature (screened on TV a couple of years ago) starring Curly, Raquel, Mavis, Rita and Alec.
My mate won that. I nearly wet myself laughing when he opened it and a little card fell it saying "Merry Christmas Nanna, Love Peter"
Anyway, I'm not paying attention any more (after all, the pickles had already gone) when suddenly I hear... "Toaster - you've won!!"
I can't believe it. I've never won anything, not even something shit! And in many ways, I still haven't ...
The only thing I've ever won and it's worse than nothing.
Life can be cruel sometimes.
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